Get your filthy paws off my turkey you dirty elf!

The time is near to celebrate my personal favorite holiday.  No.  Not Christmas, even though I like Christmas just fine.  I’m talking about Thanksgiving.  The red-headed step-child between Halloween and the 800 lb. gorilla in a red and white suit.  I’m talking turkey, dressing (not stuffing Yankees), and pumpkin pie.  Mmmmm…pumpkin pie.  All the other holidays have some sort of gimmick attached to them.  Christmas and Easter have the gift thing.  The 4th of July has fireworks.  Don’t get me wrong, I love those things.  But, Thanksgiving is simple and unique.  There’s really only one thing you do to celebrate it.  Try your very best to eat yourself into a tryptophan-induced coma.

That’s it.

How beautiful is that?

No stress of trying to buy gifts and wondering if they will like what you bought, or if it will fit.  No worrying if this will be the year Uncle Bubba blows the fingers off his good hand with the cherry bomb.  All you have to do is show up and eat.  Thanksgiving?  You better believe I’m thankful.

Another thing I would like to bring up while I have your attention.  I would like to ask that all you obsessive Christmas people to quit trampling Thanksgiving to death with your filthy glitter-encrusted shoes.  There’s no reason I should be seeing Christmas decorations the day after Halloween.  Come on guys.  There’s a whole other holiday in there.  Don’t blaze by it in your hurry to OD on tinsel.  Christmas won’t be any less awesome if you just hold it in a couple more weeks.  I promise.

Just take some time to be thankful this year, before you start “Santa Watch 2010” (said in monster truck commercial voice).  Or you could even be like me and be Meta-Thankful™ .  Because let me tell you, I am thankful for Thanksgiving.

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